February 20th, 2008 2 Comments »
As Arsenal take on the ageing glitterati of AC Milan tonight, one player will unfortunately be missing from the Rossoneri line-up. Yes, Football’s Daftest Goalkeeper, Mr Nélson de Jesus Silva, otherwise known as Dida, will not be there.
Dida, you may remember, endeared himself to Celtic fans earlier this year. Having been lightly tapped on the shoulder by a pitch-invading scally, he briefly gave chase, only to remember his proud Brazilian heritage, throwing himself melodramatically to the ground, clutching his face in agony as he took his last, halting breaths.
Amazingly brought back to life by… well, a two match ban from his own club for being such a drama queen, Dida has now been sidelined through yet another crushing blow. During last week’s match against Parma, the poor love had to be stretchered off after suffering muscle spasms in his back. The unfortunate rigours of being a professional footballer, eh? Well, not really… he was sitting on the bench at the time.
February 14th, 2008 2 Comments »
Marry Our Daughter
Marry Our Daughter is an introduction service assisting those following the Biblical tradition of arranging marriages for their daughters.
Q: IS YOUR SERVICE LEGAL?
A: Absolutely. Within the United States girls can marry as young as 13 years old with parental permission, and the Bride Price is a custom of long standing, mentioned many times in the Bible, and as such is a protected religious practice.
Q: WHY IS YOUR SERVICE LIMITED TO MEN FROM AMERICA?
A: We need to be able to follow up on the satisfaction of our customers, which is too difficult to do in foreign countries.
I’m laughing. No, wait… I’m crying. Actually, I just can’t tell any more. Please let this site be real and not a parody!
February 13th, 2008 7 Comments »
This meme has been doing the rounds this week, and I’ve been having lots of fun with it. Here’s what you do…
1. Go to the Wikipedia random article generator and note the title of the randomly selected article. This is your band name.
2. Similarly, go to this random quotation page and note the last four words of the last quotation. This is your album title.
3. Now to Flickr’s interesting photos feature. Download (or screengrab if necessary) the third picture. This is your album cover picture.
4. Now put the whole lot together in the photo/graphics application of your choice. Populate your imaginary music business with exciting acts!
Here’s one I made earlier. You might be interested to read what the band’s publicity people have to say…
“Sandhu blend the lyrical yearning and wistfulness of the Smiths with sharp, classic pop songwriting in the vein of Prefab Sprout, but with a modern electropop sensibility and skinny jeans. They recently returned from a hugely successful tour of youth clubs in the northern suburbs of Rotterdam.”
Go and buy it now!
February 5th, 2008 No Comments »
… being, of course, Gaggia Acquisition Syndrome! And thereby hangs a quick public service announcement. The Croydon branch of House of Fraser are doing a special offer on the appropriately named Gaggia Classic, bundling it with an accessory pack for £199, which is an amazing deal. It’s very rare that you see a Classic in the UK for less than £250.
To be honest, I wouldn’t normally have gone for the accessory pack. We really don’t need another six espresso cups and saucers, we could have picked up a milk jug and chocolate shaker anywhere, and I’m sure the info on the Barista Training CD-ROM is pretty standard stuff. However, House of Fraser’s price for the Classic without the accessory pack? £299!
No idea if this offer applies to other branches or John Lewis, but if you’re after a decent coffee machine, I advise you to hurry…