The View from the Spaghetti Factory

I’ve been trying to avoid the endless US election coverage this year. I know a presidential election in the most powerful country in the world *is* important, but wait a minute… the past few months of coverage haven’t even been about the presidential election. It’s all been about the primaries, and now the conventions. Why do we need to know all that in the UK? Just tell us who’s running for election, and we’ll believe you, okay?

Still, there is one consolation. We get the regular comedy experience of Hillary Clinton’s special approach to public speaking. Her halting, contrived tone makes me wonder how she ever became a successful politician. Mind you, maybe this is what Democrat voters like… the audience reaction to her convention speech the other day reminded me of the bouncing, squealing South Park residents when Kathy Lee Gifford came to town.

I mean, just… what? At that point, I wouldn’t be clapping and cheering. I’d be asleep, or stabbing myself in the neck with my own Democrat convention complementary pen. I’m sure she’s a very able politician, and she’s done wonders for the position of women in US politics, but it’s not exactly Great Political Speeches of the 21st Century, is it? Anyway, she continued…

Etc, and you can hear the whole tortuous episode in the BBC’s Today Programme archive (assuming it doesn’t disappear after a week).

I’m already quite excited about the 2012 Olympics. I mean… the OLYMPICS! IN THE CITY WHERE I LIVE! Apart from the inevitable public transport cock-ups and ridiculous prices, how can that be anything but EXCITING? And if the GB medal haul is a sign of things to come, even better. But here’s something I hope we don’t see in 2012…

Organizers Stick to the Job of Hiding Companies That Aren’t Official Sponsors (Wall Street Journal)

Just who, in whatever sponsorship committee meeting back in 2000 or whenever, allowed that even to become the slightest vaguest hint of a suggestion on the agenda? “Okay, so you’ll sponsor us, but on the condition that we try to fool the public into thinking that your competitors don’t exist? Sure, where do we sign?”. And remember, this isn’t a Crazy Totalitarian China story… it also happened in Athens, where people were asked to remove t-shirts with “inappropriate brand logos” before entering the stadium.

Let’s not let it happen, eh? Sponsorship is advertising, not mind control.

In this first (and probably last) instalment of an exciting and emotionally draining new series, I bring you the sad story of Russian weightlifter Svetlana Tsarukaeva.

Lifting in the Women’s 63kg Snatch category (stop giggling at the back!) she hoisted the 107kg barbell to head height, only to lose her grip and drop it behind her. Sobbing in disappointment, she was led from the arena, but misjudged the exit and walked headfirst into the wall.

I wonder if she heard the wistful sound of Air on a G String…

[EDIT: watch the whole routine on Youtube]

This is fun. How many of the 100 most common words in the English language can you think of in 5 minutes?

Take the test!

I got 57, but failed on loads of what I thought would be absolute certainties.