The View from the Spaghetti Factory

Speaking on Radio 4 this morning, about the possibility of increasing the detention time for terror suspects to 42 days…

If respected listener not enjoy to performance of government, please to be referring back to user manual.

Iraq 1 - 0 Saudi Arabia (AFC Asian Cup final)

The 1998 World Cup-winning French team was praised as an example of diversity, featuring players from various ethnic and national backgrounds, and hey, look… the victorious Iraq team is made up of Shia and Sunni Muslims and Kurds. Some of us already know that football, despite its looming reputation for related violence, can be a force for good in society. As usual, though, the peace-keeping and “liberating” forces have missed a trick.

I’ll leave it to Bill Shankly to sum up…

Okay, so I’ve been disappointed on many occasions over the past ten years, but I’d been thinking that Jacqui Smith might be, y’know, not quite as bad a Home Secretary as some of the other contenders might be. I mean, she did the whole gravitas thing quite well with the recent Crap Terrorist attacks.

But then she goes and ruins it. Faced with the inevitable revelation that she (like, wow) SMOKED CANNABIS in her younger days, her response was straight out of the very depths of puritanical Teflon Tony spin. According to the BBC, here’s what she said…

Why not just be honest about it? Is it so important to appease a small number of Mail and Express readers that you feel the need to rewrite your past? Here’s a handy cut-out-and-keep prompt card for government ministers facing this issue in the future…

Despite the increasing trend for displays of mass (and fake) emotion here in post-Diana Britain, it’s reassuring to note that when the shit really hits the fan, the black humour and quizzically raised eyebrow quickly return. After the 7 July 2005 bombings, the sarcastic posts to the London Hurts LiveJournal page made me guffaw, and Jeremy’s description of the BBC’s calm continuity was the perfect encapsulation of a peculiarly British type of national non-pride.

So when our country is targeted by the Special Needs Division of al Qaeda (thanks to DHM for making me giggle with that one) it’s good to see that our response is, once again, utterly appropriate.

Yep, that’s right, we’re going to put on our best clothes and go marching!

(Thanks to James Bardolph for permission to use his groovy photo from Pride London 2007)

A World Without America

No, this time I’m not quoting Chris Morris… the video on that site is for real. Wrong-brained, yes, but real.

… a lovely tin of whitewash!

Somehow, I just wasn’t surprised by the results of the Competition Commission’s investigation into large supermarket chains and their effects on the grocery market. Where I live in suburban south London, the cushy status enjoyed by these companies is all too apparent. You’ll shop at a supermarket or do without. It’s a terrifying thought, but I can’t think of a single “proper” butcher anywhere within a two-mile radius of my house. Or a baker (Greggs don’t count!) for that matter. There’s a decent fishmonger, and I try to buy from him as often as possible, but he’s a rare gem in a sea of flavourless pap.

Instead of going into more local detail, I’ll just redirect you to the more eloquent work of Felicity Lawrence (writing for the Guardian’s Comment Is Free site)… A grocery understatement.

Tony Blair interviewed by police

Government tactically abandons investigation into BAE corruption

Airport expansion plans but profit over environment

One day in British politics… the Prime Minister becomes the latest senior government figure to be questioned in the “cash for honours” investigation. Meanwhile, a whole new scandal emerges, regarding an allegedly corrupt deal between BAE and the Saudi air force, only for the Attorney General to call off the corruption probe. Could this be because BAE risked losing the deal to a French company? Surely our elected leaders wouldn’t put financial gain before ethical behaviour? Oh, except they did it twice in one day… the new plans for additional runways at Stansted and Heathrow airports fly in the face of environmental good sense and local opinion, all in the name of profit.

Through gradual downfall from the rosy optimism of 1997, there was always the reassuring knowledge that the Blair government could never be as bad as the last Tory government. I’m not so sure now. The combination of sleaze, irresponsible profiteering and sheer arrogance is just so reminiscent of the early 90s.

So now the only positive is that at least they’re not actually *worse* than the last Tory government… well, unless the Dear Leader happens to order the murder of all male infants during the next week or so. I mean, it’s happened before…

Spy death linked to nuclear thefts (Observer)

Why are they wasting their time investigating Russian nuclear sites? Get out there and search the roadside verges of Springfield!

This made me grin…

Anti-junk mail postie loses round

In a nutshell, postman Roger Annies distributed leaflets telling residents how they could opt out of the Royal Mail’s ridiculous and annoying junk mail distribution service. Having been suspended, it looks like he’ll keep his job, although he’s being moved to a different round. Personally, I think he should be in the New Year Honours list.

How ironic that this story appeared on the day that the Dear Leader was giving his emotional farewell speech at the Labour Party conference, in which he listed a number of reforms made by New Labour. Several of them, admittedly, have changed Britain for the better, but Tony’s obsession with private finance makes me wonder how long it’ll be before a crumbling, failing Royal Mail is finally privatised. As Simon Jenkins wrote in the Guardian recently, even Thatcher stopped short of privatising certain things… I fear the same can’t be said of Blair.

In just a few years, an efficient and reliable postal system has crumbled into a hopeless mess. I’ve received packages from the USA and mainland Europe quicker than first class letters from the other side of London. Mail disappears far more than it ever used to. My local post offices are often unusably busy (queues of up to 20 minutes) because so many small local branches are closing. So what do they do? Make money by pushing junk through our doors.

(Incidentally, if you want to stop the stream of unaddressed leaflets and insurance offers that are bulk-delivered by the Royal Mail, write to… Opt-Outs, Royal Mail, Kingsmead House, Oxpens Road, Oxford, OX1 1RX)

Muslim anger grows at Pope speech

Are people’s (supposedly) passionately held religious beliefs so fragile that they can’t cope with a bit of dreary waffle from the other camp? I guess we’re back to the Danish cartoon thing again, aren’t we? I wonder how much of the Muslim anger has been cynically whipped up by travelling clerics this time.

I mean, come on, it’s the Pope. Why get so worked up about something he says? Us non-Muslims don’t take a blind bit of notice of anything he says. Just remember the maxim…

“sticks and stones may break my bones, but racist, sexist, homophobic anachronisms cannot hurt me” :-)